10 weeks post is becoming my official relaxer time

I relaxed this morning at 10 weeks post – I however feel like I could have waited another week at the very least because the bantu knot I did last night after I moisturised my ends had my hair looking really nice, on the way to the hairdresser.  I mentioned to Deloris – the hairdresser that I could have waited an extra 2 weeks and she said that I already had a lot of regrowth, but we all know that in the online world of hair forums 10 weeks post relaxer is not even considered to be a stretch!

The reason why I go all the way to Deloris in Wembley, when I could actually just get my hair done locally is that I realised a long time ago that what counts is a hairdresser that cares and who listens to suggestions.  She really impressed me with the fact that after the last time when my head was very much on fire, she had planned it that this time we would relax the hair in 5 sections and wash out each section separately – I tipped her because I felt she really listened and deserved it and understood.

So initially thought there wasn’t a length increase but on looking closely my hair seems to have filled out more at the sides and so now it’s less of a u shape and more even across all of it which means that her trimming technique this time involved removing the long u tip at the bottom which is why there doesn’t seem to be as much of a length increase.

feb to july comparison

So I did feel a bit gutted that I’m not APL yet, but now that I can see the rate of progress across these pictures I’m now aiming for December as a target date for APL.  It looks like from the pictures above that I should be tracking my hair across a 4 month period because that’s where the growth happened.  I tried to avoid having a trim yesterday but Deloris said that she could see split ends, so I couldn’t really argue with that…


Forgot to do my hair for the Henley Royal Regatta

I forgot to bantu knot my hair for Henley I was so tired after going to the gym I ended up eating, bathing and crawling into bed and falling asleep.  Then at 5:45 this morning when I was waiting for the 6:00 alarm to go off I suddenly remembered I hadn’t done it.

So rather than use the curling iron to create curls I decided to do the bantu knots anyway –  I have about 4 in my hair.  Then I went and showered – hoping the steam would help to set the knots and now I am under the hooded dryer, and have been for about 10 minutes – although very conscious of the fact that I still have to style my hair, get dressed, apply make-up, paint my toenails and pack my hand bag…

I can’t believe I forgot – it’s ended up being a bit of a time waster as now I’m having to sit here under the dryer when I could have just counted on them being perfect after 8 hours of sleep.  Oh well fingers crossed it’s been long enough to actually get a proper set.

Eta: Bantu knot was ok but did tongue a few curls as well:


French Perm stabilizer requested

9.5 weeks post relaxer.  Ok so after reading yet another blog about French Perm Stabilizer being the most amazing product ever, I got desperate and ending up emailing Michelle (who I used to work with at UKOUG who now lives in the states) and naturalmaneyc from LHCF about sending me some, after all who would better understand the need for the product that someone who proclaims that it’s the best ish ever?! The naturalmaneyc actually agreed to do it, but when I looked at the shipping fees I thought that’s ridiculous, which fuelled another search, I have now found it on ebay for £50 for 2 bottles and have ordered it – may as well since it may help me to stretch to 12 weeks and it will ‘stabilize’ my relaxer when I do relax.  So told both Michelle and naturalmaneyc from LHCF not to worry,

It better be good for how much I have just spent – if not I will sell it on ebay.

It’s the Henley regatta tomorrow will need to remember to rollerset tonight and do my toenails…

To relax or not to relax – that is the question…

After the breakage on Sunday I kind of just wanted to relax it and deal with easy hair and also get to wear my hair down again.

However if I go at least one extra week I will feel very proud of myself – this time I was going to dry my hair in bantu knots under the hooded dryer – ie move away from the blow drying – hair rippage process – then after having exhausted that avenue – i.e if that doesn’t work, then I will relax.

Sounds like a plan – hopefully one that will not result in excessive loss.

Different technique needed for 9 weeks post

So I am 9 weeks and 1 day post relaxer.  So I will make it to my minimum threshold of 10 weeks post my ends were starting to feel thin and my hair dry, plus my scalp was starting to itch and flake so was happy to wash and condition today.  Currently sitting under the dryer with Affirm 5 in 1 in my hair.  It’s been about 15 minutes.  If my wash and blow dry process can continue to make my roots manageable and my breakage minimised I might actually relax at 12 weeks.  The only thing that will stop me from doing that is if I get bored of bunning.  Also someone posted that the bun maker is not that good for the ends of your hair so I have to be careful with that and also make sure I rotate my bun location so as not to cause any breakage.  Or add silk or satin around it…

Ok so this wash was not so great – I didn’t wash the conditioner out and slept with it in my hair after I came out of the dryer, when I combed it after washing it the comb wasn’t quite gliding through the ends as it was last week – there seem to be quite a bit of tangling at the ends which means the blow dryer was more ripping through the hair.  Also didn’t help that Ndidi was waiting on me so I didn’t have time to think about reapplying the conditioner etc.  Anyway finished off with lots of hair on the floor and on the bed sheet and the middle section of my hair still wet – I think I will relax next week.  Can’t be asked  – I think I basically just gave myself a haircut from blow drying  But I think it’s partly due to all the regrowth – there is only so long you can push it I guess…

Why did I use to relax at 8 weeks post?

So given that I washed and blow dried on Sunday, I feel like yes I’m over 8 weeks post and I have regrowth, but there’s nothing substantial – nothing to make me feel as though I need to relax.  I think wearing my hair down definitely needs heat to straighten out the parting and heat to bevel the ends and try and create less of the sticking up effect, so it definitely looks better in a smoothed bun that down at the moment. So I guess relaxing will happen at 10 weeks at the earliest 12 at the latest.

Now that I have bought my fascinator for Henley I also realise that it will look nice with a roller set up do but the head piece will distract so much from my hair that I actually won’t need a fresh relaxer for it to look good with the roller set up do, so I think I will definitely make it to 10 weeks at the very least since my hair does not feel desperate for a relaxer at the moment.

I think by the end of the year I should have the extra 2 inches required to make APL, so by March 31st I reckon I will be bsb bound.

My hair had a tantrum


8 weeks post.  So today I washed my hair after I came home from the gym – it was filthy because it was greasy and full of sweat and probably a lot of make-up from my fringe (bangs) from yesterday.  So I washed with my sulphate free bottle of Cream of Nature (CON) and I think my hair really likes that shampoo because it made my hair feel better as it was feeling gummy and the strands of breakage had started.  I  then deep conditioned under the hooded dryer for about ten minutes.

Now because I have been thinking lately that I should really be using a leave in conditioner rather than just blow drying my bare hair, I took the Hawaiian Silky leave in conditioner in the orange and purple bottle and began rubbing in a few squirts in to my hair after I had rinsed out the Affirm conditioner.  Once I finished I began combing it through with my jilbere.  I immediately notice that my hair went from being completely ‘breakage-free’ to straight out breaking after I applied the leave in con.  Every bit of hair I combed had strands coming out.  Straight away I was like hell no – I am not blow drying my hair in this state because it will literally all come out.  So I went straight back to the bathroom and rinsed off the leave-in I even re-shampooed, then rubbed in the Affirm 5 in 1 conditioner again.  Rinsed it out and my hair was fine again.

It was literally like my hair had a tantrum like a 3 month old baby screaming and bawling when a stranger tries to hold it and then as soon as the stranger returned to its mother it calms and stops crying.  So bottom line?  I am not going bother worrying about applying a leave-in conditioner, no point fixing what’s not broken  – I’m going continue as is with just affirm 5 in 1 and then my keracare moisturiser after blow drying.   It was a very insightful lesson.

The funny thing is before I discovered affirm 5 in 1 I used to think that’s just how my hair was.  I  didn’t know how to stop my hair from coming out my head like that, I thought it had to do with me being relaxed.   Which is why I was so frustrated with my natural hair for doing the same thing.  I think I actually could have stayed natural if I had figured out a way to keep it under control.

Nonetheless I am keen to know which ingredient it was in the leave-in that upset my hair.  Was it the mineral oil? The cones or was it the porosity?  Or could it just be the fact that my hair doesn’t like being moisturised when wet?  I would be interested to know what caused it so I can avoid whatever it is.  Either way I am just so glad that I have discovered affirm 5 in 1 because I feel like this product can literally nip a setback in the bud! I feel blessed to have found it.

On a positive my blow dry was great for 8 weeks post hair –my hair was still ‘blow dryable’ and the hair that I did lose from the blow dry was not an alarming amount given that I am 8 weeks post and have not properly detangled from root to tip for a week and a half.  So to answer my own question that I posted up thread: ‘Is the affirm amazing enough to strengthen my hair when I have a lot of regrowth – yes!  It’s definitely a keeper –  I feel like my hair is normal now.  Life is so much better when you have your breakage under control…

8 weeks post saviour: the bun maker

I think the high bun with my bun maker is definitely a look that is working for my 8 weeks post (as of tomorrow) hair.  It is at the stage where wearing it down looks stringy, because the roots are so thick, the ends look see through, it’s harder to keep the moisture in and so bunning is the perfect solution and the regrowth is not at the stage where the bun looks hideous.

I think it’s a look that works rather well with my Gok wan glasses even I say so myself!

I feel like 9 weeks post is not really a stretch – so I would still like to stretch to 10 weeks post but Henley is going to ruin that unless I can do a deep, deep condition and press out my roots the night before Henley – but not sure it’s worth torturing my hair with extra heat just to entertain clients…

Thirsty hair

7.5 weeks post relaxer – I’m suddenly very conscious of my regrowth – my hair also seemed really thirsty yesterday – I basically need to wash and deep condition at some point this weekend when I will be officially 8 weeks post relaxer.  I will then get through next week and then will relax at 9 weeks post unless I end up feeling at that stage that I do not have enough regrowth.  If it was not for the Henley Regatta which takes place on the Thursday 4th July after the 9th week, I would have done a 10 week stretch.  But given I will want to wear my hair down at the Henly Regatta, it’s best to just get it done the week before.

When my hair goes into dry shrinkage mode I really hate it – the ends look see-through when dry and when well moisturised it can look stringy and thin – A far cry from the picture above from Paramount when I was 6 weeks post.  A lot can change in two weeks!

Hard water/soft water?

Ok so I am firmly 7 weeks post and since I washed my hair on Thursday morning I am definitely more conscious of regrowth – may be effect of washing with hard water now that I am back in the UK.  I also co-washed rather than shampoo washing because I left my shampoo in Thailand.  I think I will end up relaxing at 9 weeks post since henly regatta is on the Thursday of the 10th week and I can’t get to the hairdresser midweek because of the opening hours.  Doesn’t seem like anyone on lhcf relaxes that early – feels a bit too early, but then I know my roots will be visible.

In regards to hair products the affirm seems to be still creating its magic, which has meant that I have continued to blow dry after washing, again did not lose an alarming amount of hair during Thursday’s wash – which is unusual for when the new growth creeps in.  Will have to keep an eye on it for when I do my 8 weeks-post wash.  I just think that blow drying is a nice quick way to dry the hair smoothly so if I can do that right up to relaxer day without any issues then I will.  After Thursday’s wash it did look quite poofy after washing so wearing it down didn’t seem to be cutting it.